A Day to Myself!!!!!!

So I had one day of vacation left, which I could carry over to 2008, but hell, I'm not going to leave anything on the table, so here I am at home, ALL BY MYSELF!!!!!!! I am so excited for a Sasha day!

Here's what I have planned for today:

1. Polish off next to the last Aunt Luanne Christmas Cookie, washed down with full-sugar Coke
2. Run 4.5 miles on the treadmill, while watching last night's Amazing Race (that will negate the cookie and coke)
3. Shower
4. Do some laundry (loves it!)
5. Return stuff to Walmart, Target, Best Buy, TRU, Kohl's (because I tend to overbuy and return later)
6. Go to Sam's and do some shopping (beer, chicken wings)
7. Go by the bank and deposit some birthday money
8. Go by the tag office
9. Go to Sephora!!!!!!
10. Possibly drive to Ann Taylor Loft
11. Go to Coach and order those damn earrings no one got me (although Mr. Sasha totally redeemed himself forever because he got me the black Carly I wanted!)

Yay for today!

Text Messages

Text messages I received from Mr. Sasha today while gone for 3 hours visiting with 5 sorority sisters I don't get to see very often:

1. The Wild Child just took off her pants and diaper and peed in the floor of the Rose Petal Cottage. What do I clean it with?

My text back: Clorox Anywhere Spray

2. I assume you ate one of my trees? (he is talking about the two Reese's Peanut Butter Trees I brought home to him from work outage food two weeks ago)

My text back: You snooze, you lose.

3. Your daughter pulled her diaper off while sleeping and peed all over her pink blanket. At least she was aware enough to throw her wet blanket and bunny out of the crib and go back to sleep naked.

My text back: Wow.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Today's note from school #1: The Wild Child had a very good day. She practiced using her words instead of biting!

Today's note from school #2: The Politician had a hard day today, but made some very good choices to correct/apologize for his mistakes.

Tall Tales

So last night about 9:30 I was in my room catching up on Crowned, which by the way, you should totally be watching (Carson Kressley! Shanna Moakler! Trashy plastic-surgeried moms and snotty daughters compete!), and The Politician came into my room and said, "Momma, Sissy came into my room and spilled water in my bed."

I said, "Hmm.. I don't think that's possible, seeing as how she's asleep in her crib and can't get out."

"Well, I think she did it before she went to sleep."

"Yeah, I don't think so, P. I think you must have done it yourself. Now get back in bed and go to sleep."

So the tall tales begin.

About time for chores

Last night, unloading the kids from the van after school/work:

The Politician says, "Momma, I think it's time to wash your van."

OK, P, why don't you take care of that since you have so much time on your hands......

Holiday Recap, Part 2

My MIL got me this awesome Bare Minerals kit and I am so excited to use it! This AM I used the gloss over my Stainiac in Beauty Queen, and it is so pretty and smells divine!

She also got me the above key chain in mahogany to match my Carly- so pretty!

And my SIL got me a Clinique kit similar to this one above. So fun!!!!!

Mr. Sasha is currently in route to the Coach store in The Big City, seeing as how the navy earrings were huDge (tm Ashley) and totally not huggies as the manager assured Mr. Sasha over the phone. I was disappointed when I opened them and saw how big they were, but hey I hid it well, because it's the thought that counts and he was totally trying to get me something he knew I wanted. But bonus, the original earrings I really wanted are now back in stock and back on their website, so hopefully they can send some our way.

I need to figure out what Mr. Sasha and I are going to do on my birthday Saturday. I was thinking dinner and the movies, since the only times have been to the movie theater in recent years were to see Alvin and the Chipmunks and Cars. Any ideas? We have pretty much all the big name chain restaurants around here, and I like comedies/chick flicks, most dramas and spy thriller type movies. We have a sitter all lined up, so it's a night on the town for the Sashas!

Holiday Recap

Oh, ya'll. It seems like so many funny things happened over the awesome holiday weekend, but I am getting old (34 on Saturday!) and forgetful and I bet I forget to tell you a lot of things. So you may get a holiday recap that has installments for a few days.

1. The Politician is totally uninterested in his V.Smile Pocket. An excellent use of $49. I am thinking of taking back the 2 un-opened games that I paid full price for. I totally should have known better- he likes to play with "stuff" like construction vehicles and trains and I just don't think he'll be a video game kind of kid.

2. He totally did not notice that there was no yellow fire truck. I had this big story concocted that Santa ran out of yellow paint, but didn't have to go there. He did get a red fire truck at his great-grandmother's, so that makes about 7 fire trucks in his possession.

3. The Wild Child dis-robed not one, not twice, but three times during various present openings. Once when my fam was here to put on a new t shirt, ones at the great-grandmother's to put on some Dora PJs, and one last night at Mr. Sasha's family Christmas, when she opened her stocking and found PullUps. She dropped her drawers, pulled off her diaper and tossed it aside, and handed me a PullUp. Everyone in the room was dying laughing at the bare-bottomed little turkey waiting patiently for me to help her into the PullUp.

4. All she really needed for Christmas was Dora house shoes, because she put them on yesterday morning and refused to take them off (except for bath last night) and even slept in them last night!

5. I can't believe I forgot to bring my camera to work today, because he was totally jamming out last night with his new guitar, and it was precious. I'm telling you guys, he's going to be a major rock star and I'm going to be his cool mom who travels with the band.

Gotta go print some paychecks, but I bet I think of more later! Hope your holiday was merry! On a side note, Lexapro is my best friend and I totally did not have the usual anxiety attack at Mr. Sasha's family Christmas celebrations! Yay me!

My son the comedian

Last night on the way home from Christmas celebration #4:

Momma, so when will it be Christmas again?

Birthdays and Cookies

This morning, Mr. Sasha went to get The Wild Child out of bed and he said "Good morning! It's Christmas Eve!"

The Wild Child said, "Cookies!"

I am so pumped because my aunt was just here and brought me her world-famous (well, famous to Sasha) decorated sugar cookies, which are 100 times yummier than those pictured above. These are so good, that Mr. Sasha didn't even know about them for the first few years of our marriage because I hid them from him and rationed them out, having one for breakfast with my Coke in the laundry room with the door shut for about 2 weeks. I'm really stingy with them and they are quite important to me. I share a few now, but still hide some (shh!).

If you are in my neighborhood, stop by because I have an large amount of ham, potato casserole and about 15 Santa Fe rolls left from Christmas Eve lunch. One of my aunts and her Mr. and her boys and their wives totally punked out on us and didn't show. Told you I have a nutty family. Just more cookies for me!

The real meaning of the season: My kiddos have been walking around singing "Happy Birthday Jesus!" which they totally learned at church and I am just so proud. I am trying to raise some thoughtful, kind, reverent children who understand what's it's all really about and I think I'm doing a damn good job.

Today, I'm feeling pretty good, almost like I've got it all together! I imagine this feeling won't last long, so I'll just enjoy while I can.
Merry Christmas to you all! Now quit reading my blog and go hang with your fam!

Two "Oops"

1. Poor Mr. Sasha. I opened up my email on Friday morning to read this from Coach: "Dear Mr. Sasha. Thanks for purchasing these earrings. They have shipped today. Thanks for your business!" Gee, Coach, thanks for emailing the gift recipient so she'll know what her present is.

The only thing we can come up with is that they tied the mailing address he gave to my account, which has my email address on it. I ended up telling him and he was pretty crushed. If you've been following my blog, you may have noticed that those aren't the exact earrings I requested. Seems Mr. Sasha waited a little too long, and the plain silver were out of stock. Actually, there's a much longer story that involves a new employee at the Coach store in The Big City losing his order and CC number, but I won't bore you with that.

The navy really looks pretty, and my watch face is navy, and navy is actually my all-time favorite color, so no big. But I do feel bad for Mr. Sasha.

2. And The Politician- he just about spoiled his whole Christmas this afternoon. He was supposed to be taking a nap.... I waited until he was in his room about 20 minutes, then started unpacking Mr. Sasha's trunk, which has been the hiding spot of all the gifts since Black Friday. I just brought the last load into the kitchen, turned around, and there was P! The gifts were pretty much all in sacks, so I don't think he saw much, but he was confused about what it all was, and wanted to make sure all his presents had gotten loaded on Santa's sleigh. I covered by saying some of it was for his cousins, and some for grandparents. Whew.

I better go check on The Wild Child- she is playing play dough in the dining room all by herself, and I just noticed it's gotten kind of quiet, so there's no telling what's going on in there. Mr. Sasha and P went to The Big City to do some sledding on the man-made mountain.

Oh, and I never did find a yellow fire truck. I did find "a helicopter with a man inside and a hook on the bottom" so hopefully that and the V.Smile and a million games will do.

More later!

How many more days until we can take them back to school?

5 minutes before The Wild Child was going to go to bed, she and The Politician disappeared. (Actually, Mr. Sasha was engrossed in Sports Center or some such and didn't notice them leave the living room.)

Their destination was the bathroom and The Politician decided to "clean her hair" and rubbed a whole bunch of shampoo in the front of her nice already-clean dry hair. Nice. So let's just do the bath all over again.

It's starting out to be a spectacular Christmas break.

An Ode to "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead"

The presents are done, man! (just like the dishes)

Off to have a drink.....

A Real Dear Santa Letter

Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,

MOM

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

I totally can't claim this... got it in an email today and wanted to share.

Should you be feeling generous

I only need 2.5 Pampers Points to order the Kettler Tricycle for our preschool.

I need about 100 Coke Points to order a $50 gift card (full disclosure, that is for myself.)

Should you feel like sharing, or have some lying around not getting used.....

Email me at barelytogether@yahoo.com.

Love ya!

Dec 20th- seriously?

If you lived close to us, The Politician and I would share our pretzel goodies with you! We need to whip up some more and take some to some friends. Excuse the big white block on there, had to remove some personal info.

Had to share this pic taken the day of the Christmas program at school. The Wild Child loves to dress up and twirled around saying "Pretty!" after she had her dress on. I got her a Barbie dress-up outfit for her birthday and can't wait to see what she thinks. Mr. Sasha thinks she will want to wear it 24-7.

I have so much to do that it's not even funny. What I am doing blogging??????

I did get my ham ordered yesterday, although they didn't want my name and said all I needed was to bring in the confirmation number they gave me over the phone. Only problem- I can't seem to locate that. Hope that it turns up before tomorrow.

Also, totally lost my blackjack on the way to work today. I heard it ringing, but couldn't find it. I actually had to borrow a co-worker's phone once I got here and go out to my van and call myself to find it via sound! Hey, it worked!

Raindrops on Roses

and whiskers on kittens... blah blah blah.... these are a few of my favorite things.

Orly Bonder simply rocks. I always use this before my basecoat and my nail polish never chips off. Seriously. My pedicure will last a month and I have to take my polish off because of new growth, not because my polish looks bad.

Clinique Cream Shaper for Eyes in Chocolate Luster. Smudgable. Smooth.

Have I told you I can't wear perfume? I get sick to my stomach smelling the same smell for any length of time. But this is nice and light and fresh smelling, and totally doable.

Oh, now here's the best. Saved it for last. This is the best. lipbalm. ever. If you've never tried it, get in your car and drive to your nearest Sephora and fork over $22 or whatever it costs because you will love me for it.

5 days????

I am super stressing out. I am hosting Christmas Eve at our house for my side of the fam, and I have a lot to do. I need to get off the computer and call Honey Baked Ham right now and hope that it's not too late to order a ham to be picked up on Friday afternoon. My mom is insisting on a ham from there, and even gave me money for it, so I better make it happen. Plus I haven't finished shopping, and Mr. Sasha hasn't actually looked through all the stuff I've purchased for the kids, so I'm not sure how that's going to go. I think I went overboard, but we shall see what he says. I still have two BILs and four dirty santa gifts to get, along with a gift card from somewhere (thanks Tina!) for my 16 year old cousin. Damn, damn, damn. I so need to plan better.

Note from school yesterday: "The Politician did so well in PE. He ran so fast that everyone clapped for him and yelled 'Yeah Politician!".

So glad my lunch-stealing, spitting bully is speedy.

And yup, that's Blake Shelton. We went to the same high school and actually drank many a beer together back in the day. Super guy- seriously.

One More Present Down, A Million More To Go

Mr. Sasha ordered his own Christmas present yesterday- yay for me! It's some fancy-schmancy golf bag with dividers to keep all his million dollar clubs separate, which is very important for some reason. So that's one thing done. One I am really having trouble with: my 16 year old cousin.

Mr. Sasha took The Politician with him to a family birthday dinner last night, and I kept The Wild Child home with me, because the prospect of her in a steak house was not pleasant. The ILs and everyone else dining at Salt Grass should totally thank me for that.

I pretty much spent the evening: searching for her diaper that she had taken off, convincing her to put it back on if she didn't want to sit on the potty, following her around while she moved the Elmo potty seat from bathroom to bathroom, following her back to her room when she said "Come on!" and then getting the door slammed in my face as she died laughing. Oh, it was a riot for sure.

Her pronunciation is flippin' hilarious right now. She is just trying so hard to saying everything I say. She had an eczema outbreak, and I told her I was going to put some cream on her "itchy spot". She repeated "pitchy pot". So stinkin' cute.

A Trip to the Dentist

You Veronica Mars fans will recognize the title, but alas, I must change it to "A Trip to the Office".

On The Politician's sheet today: "The Politician has to go to the office today for spitting on a friend in Spanish class, and on a teacher in the bathroom hall." (The italics were a Sasha touch so you'll take special notice of his completely inappropriate target.)

Lest you think there was one office visit, please note that there were two. This must be some kind of record. Now he has only been to the office one other time (the Mashed Potato Incident), so the asst director said it was not that big of a deal. But still... am I raising a future bully? He better gain a little weight if he's going that route. I don't know of many bullies in the single digit percentiles for weight.

Oh..... and be sure and watch Clash of the Choirs this week- it starts tonight.... someone I went to high school with is directing a choir...... yes, he's a star! Guess who?

Something for your viewing pleasure

Oh, ya'll. I noticed last night that my Tivo picked up a little gem for me- my very most favorite show from Summer 2006, that was, of course, cancelled.

And I'm sure you didn't see it, because no one did! (besides me!)

It's called Lovespring International and is a mock dating agency show, with a little improv thrown in. It's absolutely perfect humor. Of course, Mr. Sasha did not get it, but he sometimes did not get Arrested Development either. You have to be as cool as me to understand it, I suppose.

I just found out that all the epis are online. It's Required Viewing, as far as I'm concerned.

Check it out here and let me know what you think. It's under "Full Episodes" on the left hand side navigation bar.

A Crash Course in Meteorology

...FREEZING FOG ADVISORY NOW IN EFFECT UNTIL NOON CST TODAY...

WTF is "freezing fog"????? I am learning all kinds of new terms this week... snow showers... freezing fog... what's next? Stay tuned for more crazy weather from the southwest!

Two Guys and a Saw

..... and no insurance, I'd imagine.

No way in hell I'm letting "Two Guys and a Saw" clear limbs out of my yard. I can just see the lawsuit from them getting injured working on my property. I am 100% sure they weren't bonded, seeing as how they looked homeless and I can only assume unemployed.

Seriously, no less than 6 people have rang our doorbell or left us fliers offering their services to clean up our yard. The ice really brings out the crazies.

Waiting on the snow to fall tonight. We still have some of our customers without power, and the local IOU still has over 100,000 out of power. The local schools are still closed, but my wonderful daycare has been open since Wednesday. Love them love them love them. Although The Politician is having some lunch issues there, which I will post about once I sort out my opinion on the whole deal and how I plan to handle it.

And holy cow, I still haven't done any more Christmas shopping. They have been brining us lunch in so we can just work through our lunch hours, so no shopping for me (Target, have you noticed?). I fully expect Visa to call me and ask about the unusual activity on my cards (none!). Still have no ideas for Mr. Sasha.....

You've Got To Be Kidding Me

My local forecast:

Tomorrow night: Rain and snow in the evening, becoming all snow late. Low 27F. Winds NNE at 15 to 25 mph. Chance of precip 90%.

Saturday: Snow showers in the morning. Highs in the mid 30s and lows in the low 20s.


Just asking: What's a "snow shower"? I assume it will be raining snow? Like snow so fast and so much that it looks like rain?

Dear Santa,

We love you so much, we even let you come take a picture with us.

A guitar and fire truck (yellow) and a helicopter with a man inside and a hook on the bottom. That’s only what I want for Christmas.

I have been a good boy, but Sis has been biting someone.

Sissy wants an Elmo with a guitar. And she needs a green balloon, her favorite color.

Daddy wants a shirt like my PJs that I have on right now.

Momma wants a girl guitar.

Our neighbor L needs two fire trucks (his favorite color red) and M needs a girl guitar.

That’s it.

Love, The Politician, age 4 1/3

The Sasha Family has power

Well, thank goodness we only had to spend one night at the ILs. Cause as much as I appreciate their hospitality, my kids ate way too many M&M while there were there. Plus they have a super-annoying Grandfather clock that chimes every 15 minutes. Right outside the bedrooms where our whole fam damily was sleeping. I just don't get g-father clocks. Who wants a constant reminder that time is passing by? Yeah, yeah, I know all about it- I swear The Politician was just born yesterday, and he is already 4 and back-talking me.

I'll try to post a pic of our street later- so very sad. Lots of beautiful trees that probably can't be saved. We'll have to call our tree man, who is normally shirtless and smoking a cig, all while manning large cutting apparatuses. Wonder what he wears when it's 32 degrees?????

Ice Storm Hell

Ya'll, it's bad here. The worst ice storm since The Ice Storm of '87. The Sasha family was without power, so we drove to Mr. Sasha's parents for the night. I am back at work this AM. The IOU that serves my home had over half a million customers without power as of last night.
The crazy thing is the road are fine, it's just the ice on the power lines and trees. Our street looks terrible- our house is about 35 years old and our street has lots of beautiful established trees. The are all broken to shit. So sad.

The real problem here is that I was going to bid on a black Coach Carly that ended on ebay last night, but since the power was out and we were at the ILs, that didn't happen. Damn. I really have my priorities in order, don't I?

A Note of Congrats

Just wanted to write a little note of congrats to a dear friend (you know who you are!) who got a BFP over the weekend! I had the greatest pic of her tests in my inbox this AM. What an exciting holiday surprise! You are a wonderful mom and I am so excited for you to experience that second child, and also to see if your second is as much of a hell-raiser as my second is!

If we were closer, I'd run over and give you a big hug! Since we're not, I guess I'll settle for this little post, addressed directly to you! Hugs!

"Wintry Mix" my ass

Yeah, it's straight ice.

Good thing I only needed to turn right out of my driveway this AM, because turning left would not have been possible. Lots and lots of trees broken and down because of the heavy ice we got yesterday and last night. I have a million things to do today, but most of my town does not have power. Luckily, our trees look OK.

Schools are closed here today, so daycare is closed too, so Mr. Sasha is home with the kiddos today. Nice thing about being self-employed. He went down to his office before I came to work to get his laptop so he could get some work done from home today, but the power was out so he had to go back to the car and pray that at some point when it was my car, maybe I might have put a flashlight in there. And of course since I am Safety Patrol, there was one in the glove box. Score one for me!

Hope your weather is better than ours. Snow is pretty, but ice is nasty.

Have I told you my new theory about "plans"?

So I've come to the realization, maybe due to Lexapro, that "plans" simply suck. You've really just got to roll with it, change your plans as necessary, and just let go of your expectations. It's really refreshing to have this outlook, which is so different than how I lived the first 33 1/2 years of my life.

Anyway, Mr. Sasha started telling me last Wednesday that he wanted to take the kids to look at Christmas lights on Friday night. I told him it had been a busy week, I would have to make my NMB on Friday night, and hey, let's just see how things go and not try to make any plans right now.

FF to Friday, and Mr. Sasha is pretty insistent that he wants to start this new "eating out and looking at lights tradition". But he's also running late, and doesn't get home with the kids until 5:40. By this time, they are hungry and rummanging through the pantry pulling out whatever they can find. Mr. Sasha is just insistent that we go out to eat, so I tell him it's got to be quick because the kids are hungry. After finishing dinner at a fast food restaurant, we head over to the ritzies to see their beautiful lights. About 5 minutes in, The Wild Child starts crying and saying "Home. Home. Home." Then The Politician chimes in "Yeah, I just want to go home please."

Tee hee. I just knew the night wasn't meant to be. Mr. Sasha needs some Lexapro.

WC Update

Chompy McChomperson did great in the Twos yesterday. They said she was wide-eyed all day and had a great time with all the new toys and such. *sigh* I can't believe my little girl is almost two..... And I also can't believe that I haven't even THOUGHT about her birthday and if we are going to have a party, etc. Damn these Christmas bdays (mine is the 29th....)

When we picked up The Politician yesterday, Mr. Sasha said, "Hey, your sissy is in a new room now! The Twos!" and P said, "Yeah, dad, I already heard." Funny how word gets around a preschool so fast.

Tomorrow is going to be C-razy. The Christmas program at the school is at 8:45 am, then the Christmas parade downtown at 10 am, then my work's childrens Christmas party at a local family fun place after naps, then we have a progressive dinner for our new Sunday school class tomorrow night. I am making the fabulous Neiman Marcus bars and I can't wait to eat one. Or 10. And to introduce them to new people. Who will be asking me for the recipe, so I will make sure to have copies in my purse.

I still haven't gotten a Christmas gift for The Hardest Person Ever to Buy For (aka Mr. Sasha) so I am constantly thinking about that. I did get him John Grisham's new football book and season 1 and 2 of The Office, but I need something "big".

And crap, I also have to get birthday presents for WC.

Wow, can't believe how fast December is going by. Tina, your Christmas ticker just keeps pissing me off because I realize just how much I have left to do and how little time there is.

Are you done shopping?

As of 10 am this morning

My little piranha has been moved up to the next classroom - the "Twos" because we can't get her to stop chomping on the "1 1/2s".

If that doesn't stop the behavior I totally understand if they have to suspend her- I can't imagine there's anything left to try....

So please, dear blog readers, cross all your fingers, toes, and whatever else you got because Momma's pretty much out of vacation time until Jan 1 and it would be super-hard to line up childcare for WC for an entire week.....

My Little Troublemaker

was involved in a little incident at school yesterday- a group of ornery little boys decided to stop up one of the sinks and flood the bathroom, and yes, The Politician was involved. Whether he was an instigator or a just participant, I don't know, but he was definitely involved. Gee.

Also, I'd been telling him for about 2 months that the grocery store was all out of Fruit Loops (little white lie in order to push the somewhat healthier Cherrios), but he of course spied them when he tagged along to the store with me last night. "Momma, they finally have fruit loops!!!!!!" he said as he was tossing boxes of them into our cart. Oh well, 2 months of not having super-sugared up cereal in the pantry is better than nothing.

Name Game

I was just tagged by ElleBee so here goes! I do reserve the right to substitute because I am a little leery of stalkers.....

1. Witness Protection Name (mother's and father's middle names): Kay Jordan

2. NASCAR Name (first name of your mother's dad and father's dad): Jack Harvey

3. Star Wars Name (first three letters of your last name, two of your first): Lamsa (small substitution here)

4. Detective Name (favorite color, favorite animal): Blue Monkey

5. Soap Opera Name (middle name, city where you were born): Lyn Small Town

6. Superhero Name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink, add "the" to the beginning): The Pink Whisky Sour

7. Fly Girl/Guy Name (1st two letters of your first name, last two of your last): Sart (another sub)

8. Gangsta Name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie): Chocolate Aunt Luanne's Christmas Cookies

9. Rock Star Name (first pet's name, childhood street name): Velvet Place

10. Stripper Name (favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy): Happy Skittles

I tag: Kate because she loves being tagged and Traci because she probably needs a break from unpacking.

My little helper

Last night, The Politician said, "Momma, the laundry in the dirty clothes basket is getting really tall!"

Yes, I know, why don't you start a load of darks?

My Inner Slut

evidently does not exist. Even after an Italian Marg (Bartender: So just a margarita with amaretto subbed for the triple sec? Me: I don't know, that's what I'm paying you for!) and a few diet coke and vanilla rums at the lesson place, I still had trouble letting loose. Really, I had quite a bit of trouble "getting it" since I just don't have any upper body strength (cause running builds no arm muscles...) and although there was one "turn" I could sorta do... I just wasn't as good as....

My sister in law and the birthday girl! Seriously, they were awesome. Not as great as our obvs professional instructor (I bet she had another job to get to after we left at 9:30 pm), but they totally got it and were spinning all around that pole. I told Mr. Sasha his sister was seriously good and maybe she has her own pole in her bedroom and he said "Yeah, I don't want to think about that."

The instructor ("Ebony") was actually pretty cool, but I was put off by some of her wording: "Shake your cookies, girls!" and "Now stick your girls out and shimmy down the pole." I have several bruises on my knees and even on the top of my feet (???) and I was absolutely painfully sore yesterday and Sunday and that's why I couldn't update you any sooner. No, actually Mr. Sasha hooked up his new laptop in place of my desktop and I lost all patience figuring out Windows Vista and how to freakin' get on the Internet, so I had to wait until I got to work today to blog.

Political funnies: "Momma, my belly button looks like a cinnamon roll." (and it kinda does!)

Also, he was helping me make some Reese's Peanut Butter Bars (don't get all excited and ask for the recipe, it was totally a kit from Sam's) and I gave him a bowl to stir and he said, "Actually, momma, I'm not really able to do that."

The Wild Child absolutely wore me out at the Advent Festival at church last night. I literally chased her around the church for 2 hours and oh my God, she's almost 2!!!!! I totally don't have control and I don't know what to do about it. She just looks at me and laughs and runs away from me as fast as she can! But she's learned how to say "I wuv ew" and my heart totally melts and I just snuggle her tighter and thank God for all my blessings. Now wipe that tear away!

Well, I guess I'd better get to work since I have 100-eleventy (tm Tigger) things to do today. Have a great one!