New Year's Eve Babysitting

I just had to post this email from a friend..... we were discussing New Year's Eve plans and decided that since we most likely would not be able to find a babysitter at this late notice, we'd just stay in.

Here's the offer he sent us all:

Actually, for the good of the group, I'd be willing to stay back and watch the kids while everyone else goes out on New Year's Eve. I have options available for all budget levels and drinking levels:

BASIC PACKAGE:

$10/hour per child...5 hour minimum. Children must be picked up by 1am. Price includes bread, water, and access to a VHS player hooked up to a 13 inch B&W television. The kids will have great fun trying to figure out what a VHS tape is and why the tv isn't in high definition color.

DELUX PACKAGE:

$15/hour per child...5 hour minimum. Children must be picked up by 1am. Price includes all amenities in the basic package plus I will actually interact with your child. Why not pay a little extra and have your child experience the fun and wonders of talking about social and behavioral statistics.

SUPER DELUX GETAWAY PACKAGE:

$25/hour per child/adult. Price includes all amenities in the basic package and delux packages plus a couch (more likely floor space) for 1 adult. All non-family children and adults must be out of my house by 5:30am. Breakfast not included. It's cheaper than a DUI and more comfortable than sleeping in my driveway.

SUPER DELUX STAY AND PLAY PACKAGE:

$25/hour per child/adult. Price includes amenities in all other packages plus you can just stay at our house for the Fiesta Bowl. Price requires 8-10 hours of working/cleaning to prepare our house to host a football watch party. What better way to work off a hangover than cleaning toilets, making beds, vacuuming, and cooking? Little Debbie honey bun breakfast included.